True Confidence vs. Self-Justification

Self-justification is the index of a life floundering in insecurity. It pines for words of approval and cloaks itself in many guises: excuses, lies, inflation…etc. Approval, acceptance, affirmation, justification: Is this not what everyone is after in this world? We must prove that we are not as bad as we know we are. We bend the truth to seem better, we lie to cover our failure. We lie even to ourselves. The need for self-justification proves the absence of one’s functional understanding of the gospel. What do I mean? The world says, “you must show me your excellent qualities, and maybe I’ll accept you. Maybe.” We build résumés and cover letters to display our strengths, but perhaps even more to hide our inadequacies and failures. Again, the world says, “If you have these grades, received this scholarship, gone to this university, are a member of this club, then you are of value. Then I will applaud you.” These conditions are, quite frankly, crippling for most and cause for condescending pride in the few that do meet them. These few convince themselves that they are better than the rest because of their tireless work and smarts and look down on "those others." This is nothing other than their own version of self-justification. Note that these standards mentioned are the world's standards, not God's. In other words, even the standards that we build for ourselves are not achievable. How much less will we be able to reach God's standard, "Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect." Matthew 5:48. Quite obviously, this is an impossible standard for every breathing human being. On their own.

The Gospel, on the other hand, says, “because of the perfect work and résumé of Another you are accepted. He scratched out His Name at the top and wrote down yours instead.” The Gospel says that you are far worse than your heart allows you to believe, but in the same breath recognizes your supreme acceptance by the only eyes that count; the eyes of the justice of God; those eyes from which no failure can be hid. God’s justice recognizes you as a rose with no blemish whatsoever; delicate, fragile and beautiful; the object of God’s adoring face. Better: as the adopted sons of God. How possibly, in light of our mountainous failures? These required the death of no one less than the Son of God; they required divine blood for the perfect justice of God to be satisfied. His death was voluntary and His blood bought our forgiveness. 

The need for self-justification evaporates in light of the gospel. If you try to qualify yourself for God’s acceptance, you are disqualified. If you recognize your disqualified state, you are qualified.

True confidence comes when we know-that-we-know whose face looks down upon us with favor and delight. That face, whose accepting gaze we all strive for without even knowing it. When we grasp that we are loved-worms, cherished-dust, adored-rubbish, justified-sinners, we can be utterly confident in who we are without worldly approval. In short, we are so bad that He had to die, but we are so loved that He did. 

Oh the glory of the riches of the gospel of His grace!

Thoughts On Crawling

As I sit on the floor and observe my seven month old learning to crawl, I imagine that I am much the same in God's eyes. I find great joy in every inch of progress that he makes toward me, though it is accompanied with many stumbles along the way. I find myself cleaning up the messes he makes as he constantly spits up little puddles of milk. There is no possible way he is capable of cleaning up these messes on his own without making larger messes in the process. No, as it is, he plays in these messes instead until I come with a towel to clean his face and wipe up the mess. He is also constantly (maybe purposefully?) losing sight of me and getting distracted by his surroundings, though I am ever reaching my arms out to him, beckoning him to come to me. There are dirty sandals and shoes to which he is somehow naturally attracted and wishes to put them in his mouth. I remove them, of course, since I foresee that his intentions are not in line with his well-being. In all of his shortcomings, however, (for, indeed, he falls short in reaching me) my love is not lessened. If anything it increases with compassion as my heart wells up with a deep sense of being for him. I feel joy in simply watching over him. In my 30 minutes of observation he never once made it to my arms, until I myself initiated and picked him up. It is only with my hands supporting him that he is able to stand firm on his two feet. 

As fatherhood is ultimately a metaphor for who God is to us, I am learning much about Him by observing my thoughts and feelings as I observe my son. If my heart is filled with love, joy and pride, though it is severely tainted with sin, how much more in degree and perfection is God's heart (untainted and pure) filled with these emotions as He observes me? 

1 John 3:1 (Amplified Bible) 

"See what [an incredible] quality of love the Father has given {shown, bestowed on) us, that we should [be permitted to] be name and called and counted the children of God! And so we are!"